I had written most of this post in November 2017, but only had the strength to complete it now. This post is long overdue, but I need to be honest with you my readers, but mostly I need to be honest with myself.
Near the end of 2016 I set a goal to complete the 2017 Old Mutual Two Oceans Half Marathon. As I have previously mentioned, my training plan was all over the place and I ate like crap, to be blunt. I participated in the race and only made it to the 18 km cutoff point, where I was taken off the route. Not finishing the race, I was devasted, but having people in a similar situation to me, on the bus really helped.
So I set another goal. To complete the 2018 Old Mutual Two Oceans Half Marathon. I’d written about all of these plans of what I would do and prepare for the race.
These plans were delusions of grandeur.
It is January 2018 already and the race is at the end of March. I am no closer to being prepared for the half marathon than I was on 16 April 2017. I’ve not only failed to make headway on preparing for the race but have gained weight.
I have a bad habit of quitting while I am ahead. Perhaps I did it in the race as well? Am I quitting before I fail the race, again? It is definitely not my plan. Last year I entered into the race, but it has a lotto format. So basically they allow people to enter then draw the names of people who get accepted into the race. My name wasn’t drawn and I’m not heartbroken about it. I would be wasting my money and potentially injuring myself by participating.
It feels like I am giving up on a dream.
But I’m not. At the moment I do not know which way is forward, but I’m trying to figure it out. I’ve begun looking at running plans again and I’m going back to banting today. This weekend I’ll be spending some time planning and reflecting on the way forward. Till then, I’ll keep you updated.
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